If anyone is looking for a bat, I'm currently auctioning one on eBay. It's a sweet bat in very good condition. There are 2 days left and no bids, so you might be able to swoop in and get it on the cheap. Shipping would be free, of course. Check it out:
The factory grip is intact, as is the holographic sticker identifying it as the "official bat of major league baseball." I'm not sure what this means since MLB uses wood bats, but there you go.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
I intended to write something to remind everybody of my superior prowess.